Press of Atlantic City

By CARMEN STAICER

Published: Jan 05, 2009

Have a happy period! Those words stared at me from the pamphlet my 11-year-old daughter had just handed me. Mocking me. Filling me with dread and angst. My daughter had just experienced the joy, the unbridled excitement that was "The Talk" in school. It had gone well, in part because she already knew the information - after all, she's heard it since birth AND she shares a bedroom with a teenage sister, so there's nothing sacred there. The most traumatic part of the entire discussion was the fact that A BOY walked in while the teacher was saying one of the WORDS, Mom!

But what I'd apparently missed was my role in the entire matter. The mini magazine clearly listed my duties. "Be open for questions!" admonished the first page. "Don't make it silly!" intoned another. But the pivotal, shining moment in the entire "parent package," which came with a mini deodorant bottle and two coupons for free boxes of Always for my daughter, was the instruction to "Help your daughter have a HAPPY period!" Great. As if I need another responsibility. I'm already in charge of making sure she eats enough vegetables, doesn't drink too much milk, gets enough sleep and arrives at soccer practice with both cleats and shin guards - now I have to make sure that her "time of the month" is a restful, stress free, enjoyable time?

What I want to know is, who is in charge of making sure I have a happy period? I'd love to be free from cramps, from bloating and above all, those pesky food cravings. Can you imagine a world in which your monthly was the BEST part of your life?

What I'd really like to have is one less person giving me one more responsibility. One more thing that I am on the hook for. I'll tell you what: I'll teach her that her period is not that big of a deal - no need to take to your bed for three days, no loss of swimming or soccer or hanging out at the beach. I'll teach her that it's a necessary part of her life, not the grand trauma that she and her friends have imagined. More

Jan 05, 2009

• Musings from a bad mommy

With my daughter I was the uber-mom - maybe even slightly overbearing. I could anticipate her crying before she even began to whimper - I sat with her for hours and poured over alphabet books reading and quizzing her and stockpiled every Disney princess fairy tale movie available and watched them with her religiously.

Jan 05, 2009

• New memoir reveals realities of autism

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. - It was Matthew Shumaker's strange obsession with wheels and drains that spurred the first nagging doubts. While other toddlers tumbled down the padded ramps at Gymboree, or giggled under a billowing parachute during the baby games, Matthew toddled away to examine the wheels on a small rolling cart.

Jan 05, 2009

• 9 to 5 to 9: Elmo refuses to go down without a fight

As annoying companions go, it could have been much worse than Elmo. It could have been Barney, whose "need adenoid surgery" voice drove me nuts long before I had kids.

Jan 05, 2009

• You'd be amazed what you can find on a walk — a boy and his dad prove it

Every day, Keith Severin and his 8-year-old son, Adrien, go on a treasure hunt.

Jan 05, 2009

• Cell phones can aid students, educator argues

Cell phones have become unwelcome in most schools, because of fears about cheating, distractions and the reality that some students have used them to take and spread inappropriate pictures.

Jan 05, 2009

• Trio of snow tales should delight youngsters

Winter really just began a few weeks ago. But there could be lots more snow before we're talking about spring.

Jan 05, 2009

• No passport needed for this magical journey

When I received "Sesame Street Playground," a CD featuring 13 songs from international productions of the popular TV show, I'll admit I was a bit skeptical as to whether my 4-year-old would enjoy listening to the unfamiliar languages. But the disk turned out to be the ticket to a global adventure for my family. No matter what song we played - "Rubber Duckie" in Mandarin or the opening theme from the Indian version, "Galli Galli Sim Sim" - Peyton listened intently and even began to sing along with the refrains. A bonus DVD let us see some of the foreign "Sesame Street" muppets in five music videos. Ages 3 to 8. Putumayo, $15

Jan 05, 2009

• Next year, I'm really gonna stop piling

Before I got married, I regarded myself as a person who was on the "neat" side. If I were to take a one of those personality surveys you find in magazines, I'd easily check off "organized" as one of my attributes. Whether it was running a project at work or planning a party with friends, I have always been one to cross my t's and dot my i's. I have also always enjoyed being somewhat of a homebody. On the weekends, I'd enjoy going out with friends. But, I am also the kind of person who needs an equal amount of down time tidying up and cleaning up around the house.

Jan 05, 2009

• Inspired by their daughter, entrepreneurs offer organic baby food

Like many parents, Karen and Michael Stanley wanted to give their daughter the best when she was born 17 months ago.

Jan 05, 2009

• Mother of Confusion: My top 10 New Year's resolutions

10. Chortle at the kids' antics after they've been reprimanded and are out of earshot. That, or use hand to muffle chuckles and throw in a fake cough. Goal? Use this phrase 80 percent less by July: "Just because I laugh doesn't make it OK."

Jan 05, 2009

• Blogging moms

A weekly glimpse of what moms are saying on the Web.

Jan 05, 2009

• A mom and daughter review kids' music

Looking for some kiddy music reviews? Two of our favorite guest bloggers, Trine Gallegos and Sofia, her adorable music expert, age 6, weigh in on three brand-new CDs.

Jan 05, 2009

• Talking dolls' Islamic message surprises mother

A South Carolina woman went to a local Walmart to buy a doll for her daughters this Christmas, but what she ended up with was a Mattel Fisher-Price Toys baby doll that says "Islam is the light."

Jan 05, 2009

• Economy not likely to quell January spike in divorces

After the bliss of the holidays is over, a New Year's resolution that couples might be contemplating this new year is divorce.

Jan 05, 2009

• Eating crow

Crunch crunch crunch. That's the sound of me eating crow. After 20 weeks of being absolutely convinced that I'm having a girl - so convinced, in fact, we decided to name her Grace Ann and didn't even bother to think of boys' names - the pesky ultrasound machine decided to throw a penis and two random testicles up on the screen. Considering I've said before how badly I was hoping for a girl to add to my house of wild boys, I'm officially stating I was wrong. So in the off chance that 10 years from now baby boy No. 3 decides to Google his mother's name and discovers I was praying to both God and Santa for a baby girl, this is my attempt to save him thousands of dollars in therapy.

Dec 31, 2008

• Keep your baby smiling with proper, early dental hygiene

New mom Christine Chansley had read all about baby bottle tooth decay.

Dec 30, 2008

• Ask Mr. Dad: Setting limits

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been talking a lot about the importance of setting limits for our two children, ages 5 and 7. We know we must do this but we aren't sure how to go about it, especially since the kids continually challenge us on every new rule. But it's so exhausting. Any suggestions?

Dec 30, 2008

• Living with children

Q: Our 16-month-old son refuses to feed himself. He will not even touch his food other than to throw it to the floor. If I try to put a bit of finger-food in his hand, he acts like I'm burning him. As a result, I have to feed him every bite, and he is becoming more and more picky about what he will eat. He even refuses to use a sippy cup or hold his own bottle, so I still hold it for him. Most recently, he's starting acting afraid of sitting in his high chair. Could this have anything to do with his anxiety and should we try a different type of chair?

Dec 30, 2008

• Conversation topics running out of gas

I'm not saying our lives are dull or that middle-age is anything less than scintillating, but it seems the husband and I have entered a season of life where our main topic of conversation is the price of gasoline.

Dec 30, 2008

• Daughter will take move to heart

Q: My husband and his ex have been separated for 10-plus years. They live close to each other and share custody of their daughter equally. My husband has a wonderful job opportunity on the other side of the country. I feel guilty for encouraging him to take it. I love my bonus daughter, who is 11, and get along well with her. She does not have such a good relationship with her mom's new husband and kids. Am I abandoning her if we move? Should my husband stay in a bad job to be close to her? I feel as if I am caught between my husband and my bonus daughter. What do I do?

Dec 29, 2008

• Watch out: The too-precious child goes sledding

Yesterday, during a walk on Snow Day No. 3 (yikes!), I urged my son, Sayer, to try sledding down a steep road closed to traffic. The other kids looked like they were having a blast even though Sayer, wise beyond his autism, told me "Too scary to slide down the hill, walk instead." I insisted we give it a try, and as we were getting positioned for our first foray down, a sled with a small boy and girl came crashing into us. The boy rammed right into my right shoulder, and my head got a knock, too.

Dec 29, 2008

• Mother of Confusion: What's that? Hearing voices … and talking back

I hear voices. They speak to me from the strangest of places ... like Craig's sock. Just this morning it asked me where it was going today.

Dec 29, 2008

• Blogging moms

A weekly glimpse of what moms are saying on the Web.

Dec 29, 2008

• A cookbook for discerning babies

Infants need special nutrition during their early developmental years, but there's no reason they can't also develop a discerning taste early in life.

Dec 29, 2008

• Don't be scared

Ask anyone who knew me as a child and they will say one thing: "Janelle was so timid." At a very young age, I hated getting dirty, dogs freaked me out and I was completely afraid of water. I grew up in Southern California and you would think a California girl would LOVE the water. But not me. I can't even swim.

Dec 29, 2008

• Assembly kitchens let busy people put together lots of dinners fast

Cheryl Husing worked quickly at Dinner My Way one night recently, pouring the fragrant pesto penne she had just made into a rectangular foil pan, covering it with a labeled lid and storing it in a nearby fridge.

Dec 29, 2008

• The downside of the loftbed

We hear it from the moment our baby boys are born. Older people (and even younger people with older kids - who always end up feeling like older people) seem to love to tell us mothers of little boys that they'll grow up and leave us someday. My sister-in-law used to say she wanted daughters "because they never really leave their moms." It all kinda creeps me out, like there's some set rule out there. It's odd to think that my unique little baby boy could ever just become one of those grown-up guys these women love to tell me about.

Dec 29, 2008

• Not fair!

My sister is in Hawaii. She's been sending me photos from her cell phone; you know the kind, so achingly beautiful you have to gasp at how incredible the world is, then vomit because someone is actually there and you're not. But it's OK, because one of my husband's fraternity brothers lives there, and is getting married in June. So we've got a trip planned to Hawaii, and I'm really looking forward to it. My husband has been checking flights, we've been talking about places to stay, what to do with the baby. And then my husband says, "I'm not sure we're going to be able to go."

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• 9 to 5 to 9: Date night, the grocery store and ghosts

Everything was set.

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• Set up your child for success

Homework can be a daunting task for students and parents alike. Making school work a priority in your home sends the signal that you care about your child and his or her future. Janeal Roberts, vice president of education for KLC School Partnerships, offers some quick tips to help ensure your child is set up for homework - and academic - success.

Dec 29, 2008

• A sweetly hilarious — and educational — video game

This mama likes Mia - and my 7-year-old son, Hudson, and 10-year-old daughter, Cady, do too. The blue-eyed, big-eared, backpack-toting mouse is the endearing host of "The Bugaboo Bugs," a reading-skills DVD-ROM. The fifth addition to the "Mia Adventure" series invites kids into a stunningly colored 3-D world that reinforces phonics, spelling, rhyming and other language skills through fun and silly challenges. My kids got a kick out of controlling Mia's search through her knickknack-packed Victorian house for key items (copper wire, batteries) to help her deter the rowdy Bugaboos. They didn't even realize that doing so meant they were completing 12 learning games with four levels of difficulty. Ages 5 and up. Kutoka, $25.

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